Here's a small play dealing with Bush's Euro tour, courtesy of Europhobia.blogspot.com.

(If only we lived in this world. Sigh.)

Bush: I admit it, there were no WMDs and no links to al Qaida, we just wanted to get rid of Saddam. Partly to open up Iraqi oil again, partly - genuinely - to bring democracy to the country. And yes, I know it's hypocritical to try to promote democracy in Iraq when two of our key regional allies are the military dictatorship of Pakistan and absolutist monarchy of Saudi Arabia, but we have to go with what we've got. Yes, I also know that Iraq hasn't gone as well as it might, and that we buggered up the post-war planning something rotten, but we are trying. Honest.

France and Germany: Fair enough. We opposed the war primarily because we had a sweet deal going on with the Iraqi regime, but also because we genuinely thought your reasons were bollocks and didn't like the direction your foreign policy seemed to be heading (yes, partially because it seemed to make us increasingly irrelevant on the world stage). And - yes - you've got a point, opposing your administration is a good vote winner where we come from. You've got us there. But still, we reckon you fucked it up pretty bad, and your utter lack of tact and diplomacy when talking about our attitudes at the time hardly helped matters. You could have won us round if you'd had a bit more patience and were slightly less aggressive. No one likes a bully, and that's how you were coming across. It pissed us off, because we know you're bigger and stronger than us, but sizable chunks of our respective populations still think we're genuinely world powers. We know we're not, but we have to make a show of it every now and again...

Bush: Yeah, my bad. So, you on side for clearing up the mess now?

France and Germany: Yeah, go on then...

France, Germany and Bush skip off hand in hand for a great big love-fest, as Tony Blair sits on the edge of the bed holding the camcorder.