I'm gonna clean up TV, you fuckers!
I'm thinking about signing up for the Parents Television Council so I can get updates on what shows they hate so that I can write the FCC to tell them how much I love those shows. So I went to their website. Down at the bottom (really, take a look, this is hilarious) there is a section called "Other Ways to Help" and the very first thing listed, before Help Us Spread The Word or Take Action is, wait for it, "Include PTC In Your Will." Seriously? Creeptastic.
2 Comments:
I always feel like the FCC only listens to complaints. I wonder if compliments have any impact. Even if there are more of them than complaints.
It's like if everyone in class wants pizza but then there's one kid who's vegan and would be offended if anyone ate cheese, so then no one gets pizza so as not to make the kid feel bad. Hm- that's the best analogy I got tonight...
Although, how often do people take the time to write positive letters to the FCC? Maybe this is a good idea.
The best thing about their site is that it's full of smut, readily accessible to any child with an internet connection (not that they can't find worse stuff everywhere else, but still, you'd think they'd be safe on a site as righteous as this one).
For some reason, they feel the need to transcribe all the offense dialogue (and describe graphically the visuals). They even go so far as to spell out the four letter words that the networks have so thoughtfully bleeped on live/reality shows. For instance, this exchange from MTV's Laguna Beach - The Real Orange County:
Steven: “Look at you, slut! Oh my god! … What’s up, slut? Don’t [bleeped ‘fucking’] even try to go out on me. You and me, completely done. You’re such a [bleeped ‘fucking’] ho.”
Kristin: “Don’t try to call me, you [bleeped ‘fucker’]. [Bleeped ‘Fuck’] you, Steven!”
This is a great resource for anybody who watched the original airing and couldn't tell what those kids were saying.
It's also a great place to find filthy dialogue you had no idea you missed, like this surprisingly funny bit from the WB's Off Centre:
Dr. Wasserman: “How’s uh, old ‘Snuffleupagus,’ huh? I hope you remember that the uncircumcised penis poses challenges to hygiene. I mean, smegma may be a funny word, but it's no laughing matter, believe you me.”
Even better is when they feel the need to go into explicit detail of visuals for no apparent reason, as in this transcript of a scene from Rescue Me:
Siletti: "So, you're doin' oral on a chick... So you start with just the tongue, and you put your fingers in her area, and you have another finger workin' the other area."
Sean: "…So what, you put two fingers in the front and one in the back, how does that work?"
Siletti: "It's easy." He gestures with his middle and index finger and pinky. The ring finger is bent.
Now really, why describe it so vividly? Isn't all of this just evidence of their prurient desire to indulge in all of this "immoral" entertainment while maintaining the distance and moral superiority of judgment?
Regardless, it's a fine place to find a clip of Mr. Slave swallowing Paris Hilton into his anal cavity in case you missed it on Comedy Central.
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